ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
