make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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