Where are you?
In a non slutty way
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize