She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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