So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
