i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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