I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
