Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
