Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
All the doctor said was why
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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