Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
