Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
