I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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