so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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