All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
