K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
