i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
