drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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