So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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