Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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