im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
