I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
