I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just want nice things and good sex
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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