He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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