Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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