if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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