Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
