Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize