D3 body, D1 cock
I look better un-naked...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
