Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
