Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
