Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
