i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
