No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
