im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize