called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
