I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
vagina is talking i cant
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize