Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
