Soap is not a condiment
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
