That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
