I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
