I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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