How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
