Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
