my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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