what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Randomize
