How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
