I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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