If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
