My nipple is on Facebook.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
