I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
