Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
