if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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