If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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