we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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