I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
