just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
