She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
