So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
