....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
