NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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