the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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