WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
