i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
